Parenting - 1

In my line of work, as a therapist (and mom), I have had the blessing of learning what works with children, what is helpful, and how hard it is to be a single mom; or to be parents of high-needs children.

Some of the hardest things that I see are parents who don't consider what their children need, spend quality time with their children, and try to be their children's friend.  Now I understand that there are extenuating circumstances: parental mental health, severe illness by a parent or children, or even financial constraints.  But even with all the challenges in life, you are still a mom or dad.  What do you need to do build a relationship with your child? How do you get to know them?

When I voluntarily quit my job October 2012 to complete my Master's degree - I knew that doing so would be a financial burden on me and the kids, but I had no idea the joy and blessings that would come from eliminating money from our relationship.  We had to learn what it was like to live on the bare minimum.  No going out to eat, no fancy birthday parties, no extravagant Christmas shopping, clothes had to be bought from Goodwill.  Those were and are really hard times to work through, but it taught me three incredibly important lessons - the stigma (especially the negativity), and experience that goes along with being "low-income", how to break free of being a slave to money, and the importance of spending time with my children - even going on 1:1 dates with them.

Spending time and doing things with my children, couldn't cost me money.  We learned how to work, play, and worship together.  I had to learn to play with my kids at the park or in the yard or in their rooms, read them stories, bake cookies with them.  We learned how to sort and do laundry together, cook meals, and clean the house together.  We roasted marshmallows on our homemade bonfire pit, and planted a garden when my neighbor donated mulch, plants, and muscles. We learned to work hard, compromise, and respect one another.  I learned the importance of allowing people to help me, and the importance of spending 1:1 time with each of my children.

Was it hard, is it hard? Absolutely!!! Was it worth it?  Absolutely!!!  In fact, it has probably been harder than anything else in my life.  However, there is nothing greater in this world than seeing my children grow up filled with joy, respectful, and successful!

So, when was the last time you had a date with your kiddo?  Shown them love and spent time with them - doing something that they wanted to do???