The beginning of my trip to Oslo began long before I boarded the airplane Monday night. The beginning of my trip goes back to almost 9 months ago when I listened to that still small voice nudging me to find out more about a possible trip to Norway - not knowing any of the details, or knowing that this was an annual missions trip that Eagle Brook Church took part of.
The song "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" describes my journey to the airplane well...
You called me out upon the waters
The great unknown, my feet may fail
And there I find you in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand
And I will call upon your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace
For I am yours, and you are mine
You grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
My feet may fail when fear surrounds me
You never fail, and you won't stop now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters where ever you may/would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith could/will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior
I will call upon your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in your embrace
I am yours, and you are mine
Logically, there is no reason that I should have ever made it to this point. Many of you have heard my fears of doubt on how this trip could actually happen. About one month before our departure date, I had emailed my the organizer of the trip to tell her that I didn't think I was going to be able to go on the trip. I was absolutely torn, I thought that I was listening to God by applying and making myself available to be used by Him. I was disappointed and frustrated by the support I had not received from people that I thought would support me. what happened there? I will never know. Our organized encouraged me to come the Tuesday night meeting, but I didn't have child care and it was a school night. So, I brought the kids to the meeting - I had a flood of emotions that night, but mostly I was feeling great sadness for not being able to participate in the trip. Afterwards, however, I found out that someone had heard about my troubles and gifted me the difference that I needed to be able to be sitting on this airplane to Oslo.
That gift, is so very undeserved. I am so humbled and blessed by it. No one has ever done anything so generous for me like that. I never expected that. Even typing about it now is overwhelming. You see, the night before that Tuesday, I had told my small group that I didn't think I was going to be able to go either. They had the faith that I lacked and I held onto that glimmer of hope that they provided for me. Before I left that evening to pick up the kids after small group I posted a prayer to PrayerWorks. I didn't know what to expect after I posted the prayer, but after my 30-day prayer challenge earlier this year, I know that there is power in prayer.
So Spirit, continue to lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and that my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. Use me Lord to share Your love and the underserved gift of Grace to those that I encounter while I am in Norway, but also where you may see fit.
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