I watch the protests and marches on television and social media; and I'm left thinking "What difference are you actually making?". Seriously... put your politics aside and ask yourself to make a factual observation of your words and actions. You have the money to be able to take time off work and march, to travel to DC and march, to take pictures with your smart phone and march. I have been so disgusted with a large populace of the American people over the last three months. If you really want to make a difference start within your own community. Open your eyes to disparities right next to you and do something about it. Be the change that you want to see.
I have the pleasure of living in St. Paul Park. For those that don't know - I do not live in St. Paul proper. I live in a small town southeast of St. Paul with several different cultural groups and all economic statuses. My children have grown up with children of all races and have been raised next to affluent families and those less fortunate than us. They go to an amazing school with teachers that actually care about building relationships with the students that are in their care. My children and their friends are growing up learning the value of getting along with others despite different beliefs (faith, politics, etc.). I'm grateful to live in St. Paul Park. I certainly don't have (nor could I afford) the latest gadgets or best kept home and yard... and I don't need to. I am accepted for who I am. I wouldn't want it any other way because my neighbors and I come together and share our skills and resources with one another when one of us needs a helping hand.
Hearing about these marches and protests about equality and rights has me thinking.... I don't want to be equal.
Let me say that again... I do NOT want to be equal.
I don't want equal treatment. To me, being equal means that I would never know the struggle of paying bills, losing a home, or not being able to put food on the table or gas in my car. It means never having to make a choice not to go to church because you need the gas to drive 30 miles to/from work on Monday. It means never having to shop at Goodwill or the thrift store for clothes. It means never learning the true value of money or how blessed we - as an American people - really are.
A couple of years ago, I almost lost my home... as in within days of losing the house I had learned to call home. This past summer I discontinued our internet subscription. I told everyone (because of pride) that it was because I wanted to have more family time, I didn't want my kids to be glued to their tablets, and I didn't want it to become a problem in my home. But the reality was that I simply couldn't afford it; even if those other things are true. In the last several months I have struggled with knowing that I although I make a decent commission - my paycheck is gone by the time it is in my bank account. A large portion of this most recent reality check is because I stopped receiving child support. And although a goal of mine has been not to rely on child support to help pay the bills, that is not yet my reality. I don't mismanage my money and I live on a strict budget. If you see me walking around with a Caribou or Starbucks I would bet that my mom bought it for me, I had a gift card, or it's just the cup and I made it at home.
And guess what, I value the situation that I am in. I have had to rely on some financial support from my family (the bank of mom and dad) to help cover my bills. I have had to learn how to have conversations with my children about money and what I can and cannot pay for for them. I don't qualify for any sort of financial assistance through the county because I make too much money; and that's okay. There was a time when I did qualify and I know how hard I worked to get out of that cycle. Thank goodness my local food shelf is not income based.
And with all of this, I would rather be middle class poor and make a direct difference within my community because I will know the value of hard work and the value of what I have earned. I will know what it is like to be judged for going to the food shelf, applying for emergency energy assistance, to have to say no to social outings because I'm a single mom, or not participate in extra things because of the cost. So, you go ahead and march or protest... I hope it feels good. I'll be over here supporting my community by volunteering, making meals, shoveling/snow blowing/mowing lawns and driveways, or any other way that I can get out and make a difference to those that are less fortunate than me.
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