Failures, Forgiveness, Dependence

From January 5^th, Sarah Young’s devotional Jesus Calling

     You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on Me. People usually associate victory with success: not falling or stumbling, not making mistakes. But those who are successful in their own strength tend to go their own way, forgetting about Me. It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me.

     True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant my desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me. Enjoy the blessedness of a victorious life, through your dependence on Me.

Psalm 34:17 – 18; 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NKJV)

     What stood out to me at first was not the necessity of living a life dependent on Him, but in seeking that goal and desire, I am going to fail – over and over again.  Jesus challenges Peter (and us) to forgive more times than imaginable (Matthew 18:22); which reminds me of the concept of grace.  In Philip Yancey’s book What’s So Amazing About Grace, Yancey writes “One who has been touched by grace will no longer look on those who stray as ‘those evil people’ or ‘those poor people who need our help.’ Nor must we search for signs of ‘loveworthiness.’ Grace teaches us that God loves because of who God is, not because of who we are.”  So through the multiple failures that we experience, are we increasing our dependence on Him, and experiencing the gift of grace (and love) by forgiving ourselves?  Sometimes, I feel that it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves.  We show grace to others in our life, but do we allow ourselves to accept that gift of grace? God doesn’t call us to be the best or perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, brother/sister, son/daughter, friend, or person.  He knows who we are at all times.  He sees both the good and bad, and yet He loves us completely - asking for us only to love in return.  He wants us to rely on Him, draw closer to Him, and continue striving to be more Christ-like every day… even with our failures.