My mom and I often argue about the differences between her
church and my church. She loves the music at my church, but ultimately thinks
that it is a “feel good church”, and that the messages aren’t challenging. This always ruffles my feathers because after
attending for several years, I know that God works in real-life ways at EBC. Growing
up in an ELCA church, I will admit, I didn’t get anything out of church beyond
the book or “head” knowledge. I went
through confirmation because I knew that I believed in God, but didn’t know
anything beyond that. As I grew in my
independence and knowledge, I was given the opportunity to spend time at
Pensacola Christian College for their summer music academy in 1999. My first few days there were awful … not the
music part – since I landed first chair clarinet in the orchestra… the girls,
the relationships, the teachings with all of the other students there freaked me out. I distinctly remember calling home to my mom
(with my calling card) telling her that it was a cult and to get me out of
there. Ironically, it was the first time that I was experiencing true Christianity. I was developing male and female friends that
were Christians – and I actually liked it.
After that summer, my life was changed forever. That summer influenced my decision of where
to go to college; which ultimately has brought me to where I am at today. The next summer, attending Basic Training,
further solidified my faith. By then, I
had pretty much stopped attending the church that I had grown up in. Once I had chosen to go to NWC, had to attend
mandatory chapel, and take my mandatory Bible classes… I started to realize how
awesome God’s way of living was. I was seeing that the relationship with Jesus was what I needed, not a religion that required me to say the same words and prayers week in and week out.
Fast forward a few years and my life was no longer
surrounded by Christians my age that would love and challenge me – don’t get me
wrong, there were a few, but I also had lost track of the joy that usually
emanated from within me. Once I
graduated from NWC I never found a church that really fit me, so I landed at
church with my parents, again. The
problem with this is, that it was rote… I didn’t have to think… I just had to
attend and go through the motions. I struggled with what to do, but didn’t know
what to do. I knew what the church was
teaching wasn’t about relationship, but I also didn’t have the strength to
fight against my whole family by myself.
I was experiencing a “toxic religion” (Craig Groeschel, Soul Detox) and it was draining me. Eventually, I became the youth director of
that church for a few years, made some waves, and basically got fired because I
hadn’t gone to a Lutheran school. The
problem was, at that point in time, I knew God had called me to work with
adolescents and with the church...I was devastated and lost. I quit attending that church and ultimately ended up attending the church I attend now… thanks to some
friends who said I might like it if I was looking for a church like NWC.
The first Sunday I was there, at this massive building, with
parking lot attendants showing you where to park, with a coffee shop and
bookstore INSIDE the building, I was floored.
But then, even more so, the music and the message drew me in and touched
my heart exactly where I needed to be reached.
I had found a church that teaches the gospel and not a
religion. For a couple of years, I
simply was anonymous – I had a lot of hurt to overcome from what I had experienced at my previous church and what they did
to me. So, I simply attended, was fed,
and day by day grew stronger. I was
baptized at Lake Johanna (something I had wanted to do since I had attended
NWC), with no one there to celebrate with me, and feared telling my parents. (I didn’t
tell them for several years… I think it might have been shortly before my
daughter chose to be baptized at EBC.) Slowly
though, God was working a great transformation in my soul. I wanted to serve and be part of the church,
but the drive to Lino Lakes was difficult to commit to; especially as a single mom. So, I did what I could and came on Sundays,
and continued to trust that God would open a door for me to serve at the right
time. When the Woodbury campus opened, I
knew I had to do something, but didn’t feel that God was calling me anywhere
specific. Then, there was an opportunity
to attend Connect Group, on my only free evening of the week. The first night
was kind of awkward for a couple of reasons – the primary one being that I sat at the 20s table (I was
29), but didn’t really connect with them.
They were nice enough, we were just in different places in our
lives. The next weeks were mixed up
differently, though. I remember meeting one of my high school teachers there and another lovely couple who
really encouraged me to become a small group leader. Needless to say, I was floored… and promptly
dismissed it because I didn’t want to add something to my already overflowing
and busy plate. The next week, someone
else at the table that I was sitting with said the same thing. Guess what – I ignored it. Ultimately, I did end up getting plugged into a singles
small group – and I didn’t have to lead.
Thinking about it now, I kind of see a parallel to Jonah; because just a
few months later our small group leader had to step down and there was another
person that was ready to step in and fill the gap. After a month or so of him leading the group, it
became clear to me that this group would benefit from having both a male and
female leader. So, here I am, co-leading
a small group… and experiencing God in real-life ways and growing. I am so glad that God didn’t give up on me
and led me to where I am today. I believe
in a God of second chances, what about you?
No comments:
Post a Comment