Groups...

Groups, whether they occur organically or are purposefully put together; whether their purpose is growth, addiction recovery, fellowship, or Bible study; are a living and breathing organism. There is no magic formula or fertilizer to get a group to grow faster or deeper. When a group begins, the members (probably all of them) will put their best foot forward. It’s a natural and normal protective factor in all of us. In fact, I would even go so far as to say it is a healthy boundary to have. Over time, as trust builds, members will begin to show more and more of who they are (Cloud & Townsend, 2003, Yalom & Leszcz, 2005).

After leading and participating in groups in a variety of forms (church, Army, school, professionally, church again), I have seen firsthand that it takes time to build relationships and trust in a group setting. In the mental health field, professionals will say that most of the work comes from developing a healthy therapeutic relationship – which takes time and vulnerability – and each client is different. This is the same for a small group at church (even though it’s technically not therapeutic) the unconditional positive regard for one another and the ability to develop relationships personally AND spiritually greatly impacts the success and growth of a group. This acceptance, I believe is one of the other factors that lead to a healthy, cohesive group.

Growth and groups take time. Some people have trust issues and past hurts that they need to overcome. Each person grows at his or her own pace. Each time new people join or someone leaves, the group dynamics change and there needs to be a readjustment period.

Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend write in their book Making Small Groups Work (2003) a couple of key points about groups.

• True, deep, long-lasting change occurs through experiences with God and others that transform us from the inside out.  Experiences cannot be shortchanged. Each requires times.

• Doing is experiences. God created principles of growth and change that bless us when we experience them, not when we understand them. It is very different from learning or memorizing. Experiences always takes more time than putting information into our heads, though that is important also.

So, the challenge towards growth in groups is courage. What takes more courage? Sharing about your relationship with people or God, or sharing about your troubles with work? Consider the difference between sharing about relationships with people or about situations minus people. How about the difference between your personal struggles with your faith or your struggles with your dog? You may laugh, but seriously – think about it. It is a WHOLE lot easier to talk about how unsatisfied I am at work or how much I don’t like my dog… rather than my prayer life, my doubts about what/where God is calling me, or my relationship struggles. 

Cloud, H., & Townsend. J. (2003).Making Small Groups Work: What Every Small Group Leader Needs to Know. Grand Rapids, Zondervan. 

Yalom, I., & Leszcz, M. (2005). Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, 5th ed. New York, Basic Books.