30 Day Challenge

I'm one third of the way through a 30 day challenge to pray every day and purposely identify the blessings that occur in my life.  I'm reading about prayer, studying the Word, and ultimately trying to hear God despite all of the chaos in my life.  Sometimes it's really hard to hear God when you're busy being a single mom, trying to manage the household, work, co-parent, and get caught up in the drama of general day-to-day life.  

Before I even started this challenge, I felt that God prompted me to take off a month from my small group.  When I was first told to take time off from the group from a couple of other people, I balked at the idea.  Those are MY friends, that it is MY group, that is MY time to spend with adults doing something I enjoy.  I became very defensive towards not going on Monday nights.  Last night was my first night not going.  At first, I felt incredibly guilty.  But then I stopped, and began to worship and listen to see if I could hear what God's purpose was during this time. 

At some point during this last summer, my motives for leading a small group were questioned.  Since then, up until last night, I often questioned if I really was where God called me to be at.  I was pretty sure that it was where I was supposed to be, but I couldn't put into words why.  So I finally slowed down enough to listen to God about this and examined my motives for leading the group.  I had been listening to "Help Me Find It" by Sidewalk Prophets over and over again.  It was my constant prayer last night.  I can now say that serving as a small group leader feeds my soul by allowing me to care, serve, support, and encourage people in a healthy, non-codependent way.  I am encouraged by praying for them and seeing them grow. I am energized simply by being with them and growing with them.

I am looking forward to the other purposeful ways that God will make himself clear to me in the upcoming weeks.